It is always interesting to see what causes us to start something. For example, this blog challenge.
I was sitting in a beautiful room in Lake Louise. Thinking about what came next with my business. And feeling like it was missing a piece. That immediately made me want to go to outside help. Who was the best expert to help me with this? And that is when it hit me. I don’t like to do my own writing. Because I am not the expert. I am not good enough at it. And I never write things that people want to read. Is that true? Not 100%. I have written some pretty good posts in the past. One of which connected me with my bestie. So what is it about writing that gets in my way.
A few things. I have been told that people are better at it than me. That my style is too conversational to make it interesting to read. That it would be good if this were my journal, but it can’t be linked to my business in any way, shape, or form. So I took that to heart. I decided that they were right. And started hiring copywriters. The pros. And they all have done a fantastic job. I love them. And yet, they aren’t quite me. Another thing that factored in is that people rave over my videos. Especially when I put my ranty pants on. Let’s face it, it is way easier for me to sit down and hit record than it is to blog about it.
And yet, I won’t get any better unless I practice. Unless I actually sit down and pour my thoughts out on the page. Or bleed them out as the amazing Tania Dakka likes to say. So here we are, day 20 ish on this 30-day blog challenge.
When I sat down to get started I went to my old blog site and looked at my old posts. I wanted to see if there were any relics in the bone yard that could be brought back to life. And what I found was, some of my best were sitting there. Half-written. Never to be read by anyone. My favorite one was about what a single yoga class had taught me. I haven’t finished it because, well that yoga class was nearly two years ago. And Kim may make me go back to another one if she knew how powerful it was. The other posts that were left in the boneyard are ones where I was talking about being of service before demanding a sale. Ones where my biggest fears were painted on the page and then hidden and tucked away before people could see them. And this makes me sad.
I have uncovered a place where I am playing small. Shrinking at the mere thought of people judging me, and finding me unworthy. A place where I gave up because others were better, rather than striving to be better. An area where it highlighted my lack of discipline. Where I would rather pretend that I was just too cool for blogs than to actually develop the skill, the discipline, and the devotion. This petulant teenager side of my personality that wants to hang on for deal life. Keeping me from stepping out in the world and shining as brightly as I can.
I am committed to shifting that. I will keep blogging. Who knows, I may even write something that you may want to read. And if I do, excellent. Let me know. One day I may even figure out how to turn on the comment section of my blog. And if I just keep writing and then only one who reads it is me, well that is okay too. I happen to find myself hilarious.
So if this post does one thing, let it be to have you ask yourself, where are you playing small? Where are you letting the opinions of a few stop you from being you? And then ask, if you are ready to change it? If you are ready to ask the questions and you require some support and guidance with sitting in the uncomfortable, and then creating a plan, connect with me. Let us chat. Life is way too fuking short for that.
Until tomorrow, I wish you a day as beautiful as you.
So much Love & Gratitude,